The tactfulness, keenness mean also ability quickly and unmistakably to define reaction of interlocutors to our statement, acts and in the necessary cases self-critically, without feeling of false shame to apologize for the made mistake. It not only will not drop advantage, but, on the contrary, will strengthen it in opinion of the conceiving people, having shown them your exclusively valuable human line - modesty.
Never it is necessary to pay visits in hours of after-dinner rest. In the train surely suggest your neighbors to have a snack together with you. They will refuse as well as you have to make it if it will be offered to you.
Presently almost the aspiration to simplification of many conventions ordered to all-civil etiquette is everywhere noted. It is one of signs of the times: the rates of life which changed and continuing to change quickly socially living conditions in the strongest way influence etiquette. Therefore, there is a lot of from this that was accepted at the beginning or the middle of our century, can seem to the absurd now. Nevertheless, the main, best traditions of all-civil etiquette, even having changed in a form, remain to live on the spirit. Ease, naturalness, sense of proportion, politeness, tactfulness, and, above all benevolence in relation to people, - here qualities which smoothly will help with any life situations, even then, when you are not familiar with any small rules of all-civil etiquette which there is on Earth a great variety.
"The person who speaks only about himself, and thinks only of himself - D. Carnegie claims. - And the person who thinks only of himself - is hopelessly not cultural. It is not cultural, it is as if highly educated was".
In society the modesty and restraint of the person, ability to control the acts, attentively and tactfully to communicate with other people are considered as good manners. It is considered to be bad manners habits loudly to speak, without mincing words, forwardness in gesticulation and behavior, untidiness in clothes, roughness, shown in frank malevolence to people around, neglect to others interests and inquiries, impudent imposing to other people of the will and desires, inability to constrain the irritation, in an intended insult of dignity of surrounding people, in tactlessness, foul language, the use of humiliating nicknames of nicknames.
Unfortunately, the fine statement of Cervantes is absolutely jammed: "It is possible so cheap and it is not appreciated so expensively, as politeness." True politeness can be only benevolent, as it - one of manifestations of sincere, disinterested benevolence in relation to all other people whom the person should meet at work, in the house where lives, in public places. With fellow workers, with many acquaintances in life politeness can pass into friendship, but organic benevolence to people in general - obligatory base of politeness. Original culture of behavior - where acts of the person in all situations, their contents and external manifestation follow from the moral principles of morals and correspond to them.
Indispensable condition of communication is sensitivity. Sensitivity should not be excessive, turn into flattery, bring to anything to unjustified praise seen or heard. It is not necessary to hide strenuously that you for the first time see something, listen, taste, being afraid that otherwise you will consider as the ignoramus.
Respect for another - an indispensable condition of tactfulness even between good companions. You, probably, had to come up against a situation when at meeting somebody carelessly throws into time of performances of the companions "nonsense", "nonsense", etc. Such behavior becomes frequent the reason of that when he starts speaking, even its sensible judgments meet audience a chill. Speak about such people:
It is necessary to call a title of everyone to whom talk. If the title is unknown, it is possible to address so: "Herr Doctor!". The word the doctor is not reserved as at us only for physicians, and it is used anyway at the indication of specialty or a profession.